Q & A Jokes
TEACHER: Why are you late?
BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Balgobin! TEACHER: Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?
BALGOBIN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
BALGOBIN: Don't bite any.
TEACHER: Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with "I".
BALGOBIN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am."
BALGOBIN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
BALGOBIN: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father'sCherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
BALGOBIN: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
TEACHER: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?
BALGOBIN: Brotherly love!
TEACHER: Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
BALGOBIN: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BALGOBIN: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
BALGOBIN: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
BALGOBIN: Your name on this report card.
BALGOBIN: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER: No. Why do you ask that?
BALGOBIN: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
The following two small stories are mentioned only for fun. They are not meant to degrade anyone.
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS!
It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk. Fox: "What are you working on?" Rabbit: "My thesis." Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?" Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!" Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!" They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit. Wolf: "What's that you are writing?" Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves." Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published,do you?" Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?" The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing? Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."Bear: "Well that's absurd! Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you" As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.
Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS. ITS YOUR Ph.D. ADVISOR THAT REALLY COUNTS.
Please read the following paragraph too
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A SUPERVISOR IS FAMOUS/GOOD
It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox,out on a walk. Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken" Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you" Fox: "Hmm. But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your great claws will only destroy it even more" Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed" Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches" Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed" The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun,looking very pleased with himself. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun. Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you,because mine is broken" Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you" Wolf:"You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV. Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?" The lion goes into his cave, and after a while it comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed. Scene: Inside the lion's cave, in one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.
Moral: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A SUPERVISOR IS FAMOUS/GOOD, LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
IF THE PRICE OF PETROL GETS MUCH HIGHER
THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO TRAVEL BY
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, itdeosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsatltteer be at therghit pclae.The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed itwouthit porbelm.Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef,but the wrod as a wlohe.Amzanig huh?
Various methods of Killing a Lion
1. Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in constant fear and die soon because of fear. 2. Swish your finger in front of the lion and the lion will die in the noise that is created...
Go near the lion and cry like anything.... Lion will die of sorrow !
Bring 5 more lions. Fight with them and kill all of them except one. Then talk patriotism in a high volume to the remaining Lion. This lion will invariably "die" and become a cow.
Manirathnam Method :
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle light. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and will commit suicide.
Balachandar Method :
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness into the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. In addition, 2nd lioness loves first lion too. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right...ok....read it after 15 years, even then u won't...somehow lion will die with such confusion!
Take the lion to Australia or US and kill it in a good location.
Bring one lioness. Make your lion fall in love with the lioness. Arrange for some 6 or 7songs (make sure that none of them are duets)....Finally see to that the love is broken. The lion will die of love failure!
Shah Rukh Khan method:
Release a film like 'ASHOKA"and make the lion watch the movie more than once.
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days and lion will die eventually
Rahul Dravid method:
Ask the lion to bowl at U. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run.
Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama Bin Laden and shoot him.
What makes life 100%?
If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z equals 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98 % Only
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96 % Only
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100 %